Mom, let me start by just saying you mean the world to me and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. You are the reason I am who I am today. You pretty much raised Cody and I on your own without any help and you always made sure you put our needs before yours. I feel so close to you after all that we have been through together. I watched you and dad go through a very bitter divorce and I was there to see the pain and hurt in your heart. I know you loved him more than anything in this world and you would have done anything in your power to keep our family together. Regardless of what anyone may say, you and I know the truth and that is all that matters. You are by far one of the strongest women I have ever met. You have always encouraged me to never depend on a man for anything and that is by far one of the greatest lessons you have taught me. I have strived to be the best daughter I can be and I have worked very hard to achieve many goals to make you proud. You were there at one of my lowest points in my life before I left for the military. You were the only one who believed in me and understood why I made the choices I made before I left. After I left you wrote me almost everyday while I was in basic always telling me how much you missed me. I can remember crying but hearing your voice telling me 'everything is going to be ok'. Shortly after joining the military, I met Bryan and you were so accepting and when we married 2 months later you were the only person who had something positive to say about our marriage immediately. You have always supported every decision I have made whether or not you have agreed and for that I thank you! I am so glad you are finally at a point in your life where you seem so content! If there is anyone who deserves it more, it is definitely you! I am so thankful to call you my mother! You are an amazing grandmother to Presley and I know she loves her 'grammy Sue' very much. One day Presley will realize just how special her middle name is and I will always tell her she shares the same name as her beautiful grandmother.
I love you so much mama!
Love always,
Coconut, Nickolette, or whatever name you ever came up with ;)
Dad, we don't have the best of relationships right now. I have given you several chances to meet your grandaugter and you have yet to follow through. I hope one day you will come around and see just how beautiful she is and realize the miracle you are missing out on. That is the one thing that hurts me the most right now and I think about it pretty much on a daily basis. It hurts to know you put your wife (who is very disrespectful to me) and her son before you put your own children. It has been like that for several years so I have gotten used to it. Our relationship has been on and off for many years. Although, I don't agree with many decisions you have made with your life I do respect you as my father. I would love for nothing more for us to have one of those relationships where we talk everyday but I think there has been too much damage done to have that kind of relationship but I do think we could improve upon the one we have. We really don't even know much about each other. My fondest memories of you were when I was little. I can remember every Friday and Saturday night you and I would ride in your little blue chevy to the 'stinky store' to get goodies for TGIF night on ABC. I can remember listening to the country music so loud and you would occassionally let me steer the truck. Remember when we used to have all those cows? You even let me name one of them Brownie :) I remember going to church every Sunday..me, you and Cody would go for breakfast and Sunday school and mom would meet us there for Church. Or how about when you convinced me to join the Girl Scouts (worst decision ever)! The biggest decision I made with your help was the decision to join the Air Force. You took me to all the different branch recruiters and helped me decide which was the best fit for me. Since I have been gone for almost 5 years now we have barely spoken. I made a promise to you that I would finish school and although I have not finished my 4 year degree yet I did complete my 2 year degree in Criminal Justice and I don't think you even know. I got the honor of graduating in my dress blues but it seems like no matter what I do it is never good enough in your eyes. All I ever wanted was to make you proud of me and make you proud to call me your daughter. I often struggle with the decision to completely shut you out of my life although it is not the best decision it seems it would save a lot of heartache for me. You and your wife have hurt me so much in the past year. You know that old saying 'forgive and forget', well it's just not that easy in my case. I hope one day you will want to hold and meet your beautiful little granddaughter and maybe one day we can have somewhat of a relationship again.
Love always and forever,
Coley
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