I'm back!

I'm back!  Did you miss me?!  I decided to take a little break from blogging..one day I was looking through my blog and realized I was posting a lot of negative stuff, a lot of sad posts..ain't nobody got time for that, ha!  Well i'm coming up on the mom's one year angel-versary (that's what it's called when you lose a loved one to suicide) anyway..i'm feeling good.  I took a break for a while just to more or less get my self together and stop dwelling.  I have to say, I am feeling good!  Doing a lot better than I ever thought I would or could! I think I mostly contribute it to Bryan who is truly a God sent and my little beauties.  I don't know where I would be without my family.  I know people brag and boast all the time but I really do have a one in a million best friend soulmate who really is there for me through it all.  I was going to regular meetings but haven't gone recently.  I almost felt like every time I went, it would bring everything back fresh in my mind so I haven't gone in a while.  Maybe I will go back some day but I am content now so I haven't been going.

Anyway, so there..you know why I haven't blogged.  I don't want to be *that* person who is constantly negative and posting depressing posts.  I've had my days, weeks, months (actually one hell of a year) but I'm here..happy, healthy, and blessed!  Well Cody left for Army basic training almost 3 weeks ago now and man oh man do I miss him!!  I talked to him everyday and I can't help but to wonder how he is.  I didn't do Army basic training but I did do 2 months of hell in Air Force basic training which is no walk in the park.  There were many nights I cried in my pillow (missing my ass-hole of a boyfriend at the time) and wondered what was I doing.  I know Cody is strong but I can't help but to wonder how he is feeling.  He has called once and I was really hoping to hear from him tonight but he hasn't called..  Bryan keeps telling me Cody is a grown man but you know...I really did practically raise that kid and I feel much more like his mama than his big sister.  I can't wait until June to go watch him graduate basic training in Missouri!  Bryan, myself, and Willow are flying out there while Presley spends the week with memaw at the beach and man am  I looking forward to it!!  That was one of the proudest moments of my life and it will be so special to share in that moment with him as he graduates with that uniform on!  Oh me, can you tell i'm so excited, happy, and nervous for him?!  Love you Cody man!!

My girls are getting so big!  Smarter and more beautiful by the day (both of them)!  I can't help but to just feel so lucky and blessed everyday that they are a part of my life!  Presley is full of attitude and talks 90 miles a minute (the girl doesn't shut up) typical girl I guess!  Ha!  Willow has been babbling too..she is seriously such a happy baby!  I'm so glad too!  Because she was miserable the first few months of her life but she is soo happy now!  Always smiling and looking for me, I love it!  She's still breastfeeding a lot..sometimes I feel like too much but she just enjoys it and I don't mind either.  She would much rather have breastmilk than food at this point which is soo much different than her big porker sister.  Presley has ALWAYS been a porker and still LOVES to eat!  She ate an entire sandwich tonight before dinner (she fell asleep before lunch and I didn't wake her) and I thought surely she wouldn't want to eat again.  She ate a full plate of dinner right after the sandwich and was asking for some cantaloupe before bed tonight!  I'm not complaining..just glad she loves to eat!  Hopefully Willie (her nickname from Bryan's parents) follows in big sisters footsteps.

My life is pretty boring these days..Bry and I are both still in school full-time and busy as you know what!  He will be graduating the end of summer and me shortly after.  Wheww!!  I think he is going to start on his Masters right away..I think I will take a break!  I would really like some time to just focus on the girls and NOTHING ELSE!  So I think that's what I'll do.  That's about all going on around here..hope all my friends are doing awesome.  XO