A little update.

I haven't blogged in a while..well publicly anyway.  I just don't want to put all my negative thoughts and feelings out there..I am not a negative person (well try not to be anyway) and well I just really don't want to sound sad, mad, and angry so I just keep it to myself.

My pregnancy is going good.  I will be 38 weeks Saturday and I go for my 38 week appt on Friday.  So we shall see if i'm dilated any more or if any progress has been made.  I have been extra tired these past few weeks..my little princess has absolutely worn me out.  The girl doesn't stop...seriously.  I am so excited to see/meet Willow for the first time.  I am a little bittersweet.  So happy that my new precious little girl will be here but yet so sad because my mom won't be here to meet her.  On a happy note, Bryan's mom has been in town for the past few months now and will be there to watch P during the birth.  She is truly a God-sent.  She's been amazing these past few months and is always there to listen to me cry, vent, or whatever i'm feeling.  I'm forever thankful that she has flown in to be here for the important events.  Presley sure does love her memaw as well.  All I ever hear is "I want to see memaw mama" or "I want to fly in a plane with Memaw", or "I want to go to beach and see memaw"!  She LOVES her memaw!!  She even calls memaw about 2 to 3 times a day and they actually hold a conversation.  Memaw always knows exactly what P is saying!  Anyway, I went off on a tangent but I am so excited to meet my new princess and so thankful for my amazing hubby, beautiful daughter, and wonderful mother in law to be right by my side to share this beautiful and wonderful experience with me.

I have been regularly attending my SOS support group and man is it amazing.  I love it and as a matter of fact am going again tomorrow night.  I am even doing a community walk here in Jacksonville on November 10 in order to raise awareness of suicide prevention.  If you are in Jacksonville and would like to walk with me feel free to join.  Here is a link to my fundraising page.  I have set a goal for myself to raise $150.00 before the walk.  I think it is an attainable goal :)
http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&participantID=297903

I have been missing my mom a lot lately.  I think the more time that passes, the sadder I become.  I'm still quite honestly in shock of the whole situation.  I still replay that day in my head every single day and I hope that one day I will come to a point where I no longer remember her in that way.  I have been trying my hardest to remember the good times, cherish the fun pictures, and remember her in a positive way and not so negatively.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't very angry with her at this point but one thing I have learned is that depression is a disease.  I'm trying my best to continue to remember that she was truly sick.  And that's all there is to it.

We are both still in school full-time (well I am taking this quarter off to have the baby) but plan to return in October.  In other news, we have been thinking very seriously about prepping the house and putting it for sale soon.  (Not too soon but soon enough)  We are both ready for a major change.  To be honest, I want to get out of Jacksonville.  Who knows where the future will take us.  One thing I know for sure, as long as Bryan, myself, and our girls are together, we will make it and love anywhere.  I would ultimately like to go closer to the PNW..I absolutely love it out there and did I mention I am dying to down-size!  Yes, I said it!  I want so badly to down-size!  And I don't want another pool either!!  Way too much maintenance!  While it's nice and beautiful, it takes nearly an hour of work a day to maintain!  Super annoying!

Well those are the happenings in our lives right now :)  Hope my blogger friends are doing well and I will be sure to keep y'all posted about Miss.Willow!  Any day now :)