Survivor.

Survivor Experience: Sadness, Depression & Despair -- Sadness, depression and despair are common and almost inevitable following the loss of a loved one by suicide. In the beginning, survivors are not in control of their emotions. Pain is so great that it is difficult for many to find hope or envision a future that holds any happiness. Most survivors say that until they experienced this kind of loss, they had no idea that pain could be so deep. Many mental health professionals still do not understand the depth of pain felt by survivors.

From our forum: "The pain is just overwhelming. At times it takes my breath away and I think how can I survive? This is just too much to be able to bear. I miss her so very much that it feels as if my soul has been ripped apart."


These couldn't be truer words.  The life that I used to know will never ever be the same. ever.  Small steps, one day at a time, and some good memories to hold onto.  Thursday can't come fast enough.  I am looking so forward to it.  To finally meet face to face people like myself.  People who understand.  People who can relate.  People that have walked in my shoes before me and can maybe offer some valuable insight to help me.  Until then, one day at a time and I WILL make it with the support of a few close friends, my babies, and my soul-mate.