Another sleepless night.

Very long post**

Well I just don't do good alone. I hate being alone right now and when I say hate I mean HATE it.  Went to GA this past week to celebrate Cody's graduation.  My little brother is a high-school graduate now.  All went well.  Visited some great life-long friends, spend a lot of time with Boochie (the most awesome 93 year old grandpa a girl could have).  He is not my real grandfather..he is my dad's stepdad but he has been the one most involved in my life.  He is such a good man. While I was in town the post office also planted a pink dogwood tree in honor of my mom.  It was an absolutely beautiful little ceremony.  Before my mom transferred to FL, she worked at the Stockbridge, GA post office for I believe 16+years.  Everyone LOVED her.  We started the ceremony around 8am and there must have been at least 50+ people there.  We gathered around the tree and one of my mom's co-workers said a nice prayer.  Another man sang Amazing Grace.  Several people recited wonderful memories of my mom, it was just beautiful.  I was bawling and was able to say a few things myself.  The pink dogwood was absolutely beautiful.  The post office also gave me a fake version of the tree in a cute little tin for me to take home in remembrance of her.  The employees also made a beautiful book for Cody and I.  They named it "the colors of Susan".  Every single person in that post office (and that's a lot of people) wrote a letter to Cody and I about our mother.  Memories, funny stories, some put pictures in there, some of my mom's old co-workers kids colored pictures, just everything was in there and all bound together so beautifully.  The funny thing...almost every single person mentioned about how my mom was the snack queen.  Either she was always sharing her food, eating, or making food for everyone there.  That was so her...ALWAYS EATING!  The funny thing was she was so stinkin' skinny.  The woman never weighed more than 115 pounds.  She was a tiny woman, short in stature, and very petite with long blonde hair.  (Don't ask where I got my hips, butt, and legs from) because it sure wasn't her.  The employees of the Stockbridge USPS office really showed their support and for that I was thankful.  Everyone there loved and had so much respect for my mom.  Of course, no one from my family showed up but Boochie did come with me.  Boochie by the way is my dad's stepdad but he and my mom were always extremely close.  He has been retired from the post office for over 30 years and was the one who helped my mom get  that job back in the day.  Of course, Presley was there and making her rounds.  Oh also, we released some balloons at the end of the ceremony but during one of the prayers, Presley was screaming "balloon" "balloon mama"..everyone was sorta chuckling.  She definitely lifted our spirits and lightened the mood.  The ceremony was just beautiful.  I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful experience.

Next was Cody's graduation lunch.  My aunt Joy (dad's sister) decided to do a lunch for Cody and invited some of the family that I hadn't seen in years.  Most had never even met Presley.  She did it on a Friday so not a lot of people could make it but the turnout was nice and Cody enjoyed it which was most important.  Joy went out of her way, got a ton of food, set up the party at Boochie's house (where we stayed) so we didn't have to even go anywhere.  She bought a huge cookie cake, brought lots of outdoor water toys for the kids, brought bubbles for the kids, and just went out of her way.  I have always really liked Joy.  She has always been the one person from my dad's family that regularly calls, sends cards for every occasion, and the one that I called the day my mother died for her to relay to my step-mother.  She's just the kind of person who knows exactly what to say and when to say it.  She's so kind-hearted and went out of her way to make sure Cody's graduation was special.  My dad is in Cuba right now so he wasn't able to be there so Joy made sure come hell or high water that we were going to celebrate.  I saw people I hadn't seen in years but it was nice.  Everyone was very respectful and just loved Presley.  She was definitely the life of the party.  She was going around and leading everyone by the hand to go play, eating off people's plates, and dumping bubbles everywhere.  I haven't seen Cody smile in a while but he definitely had fun at his lunch or maybe he was smiling at the amount of money he got (jk) lol but he definitely enjoyed himself.  It was nice to see family that I haven't seen in a long time including my papa (dad's dad) who I haven't seen in like 7 years.  All in all it was a fun day.  Good food and good company.  The kids spent a lot of the time riding around on Boochie's golf cart.  They loved that thing.  Of course, pres had to ride too.  Oh I was a wreck but they held on tight and we had no accidents.  

Friday night was the night of Cody's graduation.  By the way Bryan could'g to to go GA with me.  Since he has started his new federal job, he just couldn't take anymore time off.  He has already been off with me for the past two weeks.  His employer has been more than accommodating.  Anyways, so I had to take Presley with me.  It didn't even start until 7pm so I was super nervous because that isn't far away from her bedtime.  Well me, Presley, and Boochie went.  (I felt like we were the three amigos all week, lol).  Bless Boochies heart, he can't hear a thing (I guess that's a good thing) but he is always there to lift my spirits.  We got there 30 minutes early, sat down in the handicap section, and it was still 90+degrees out.  It was HOT and Presley was not happy about it.  All she wanted to do was go up and down the bleachers.  O-M-G, I thought was going to seriously die.  I seriously was sweating so bad and I don't sweat much.  Presley was sweating.  I was however thankful to be at my little brother's graduation.  He was called toward the end being that his last name is Scott but when his name was called, you better believe I stood up and hollered for him!  I was just so happy.  I know my mom would've been so proud of him.  I know she is in Heaven and so very proud of him for the wonderful man he has become.  The graduation lasted about 3 hours and when it ended, Presley was fit to be tied so i'm so glad it ended when it did.  What a wonderful experience.  Didn't get to see Cody afterwards.  He went out to celebrate with his friends..  Their first stop, Hooters.  Go figure..a bunch of teenage boys, food, and boobs.  Who would've guessed?!

Last but not least, I got to spend some time with some special people.  Got to see some of my very best friends and their kiddos.  It's always nice to see close friends who you don't see everyday but you can always pick right back up where you left off.  Thankfully, I have a couple of those.  I don't know what I would do without Crystal, Lindsey, Jenna, and Marie.  I feel like they all serve a special purpose and were put into my life for a reason.  Marie has been in a similar situation as myself and lost her mother a couple years ago.  It was nice to have dinner (me, Marie, Presley, and her daugther Eisley, and Boochie of course) had dinner at O'Charleys one night.  It was just nice to have someone to talk to who has been there and can relate to the emotions I have and relate to exactly how I am feeling.  Again, I feel like each of my best friends are very special and I am so lucky to have each and every one of them.  Sunday, my dad flew in from Cuba to see Cody and I.  Presley and I had breakfast with him and my step-mother Francis on Sunday morning.  It was interesting to say the least.  My dad was tolerable.  He was not very interested in Presley however my stepmother couldn't get enough.  I can't help but to feel still angry toward the two of them.  I'm trying to forgive and move on but it's just not that easy.  I know they just want to be there but I can't help but blame my dad a little for everything wrong in mine, my mom's, and Cody's life.  I don't know that I will ever forgive him for what he has done.  I hope some day I will be able to but I'm just not ready today.  Nonetheless, he did make a little effort.  It was just a constant reminder being in his home of just how little Cody and I are a part of his life.  The walls are lined with pictures of her son and people who I don't even know (i'm guessing her family, never met them) and the two of them.  There is not one single picture in that house of either Cody or I.  It hurt a little but again, I have to move on.  I guess now that my mom is gone (she was the parent I was close with) I am relying on Bry's family that much more to help me get through this and they are amazing like always.  I tell you I struck gold with Bryan and his parents.  I love his entire family.  So yes, that was my 2 hour visit with my dad.  Short, sweet, and probably the only visit for the next few years.  He's never home and his life is always Me, Myself, and I so who knows..but I won't be negative.  After breakfast at his house yesterday, I made the 5 hour trip back home.  Presley did AMAZING.  She took a 3 hour nap and when she woke up we stopped so she could stretch her legs and eat lunch, then we got back on the road.  She didn't cry once.  We made it home in about 5 in a half hours. I was more than pleased.  All in all, it was a good week but very bittersweet.  I'm so glad to be home with my beautiful little family.  I missed Bryan and Arnie(the dog) so much.  Presley did too.  That will be my last trip home to GA for a long time.  I will miss Boochie but there is just nothing there for me anymore.  To my friends who live there, you can always come here :)  Too many memories there..my hometown, my family still all live around my childhood home and the church I grew up in.  It's bittersweet to go there but for now I won't be back for a while.  Too hard.  Ok I really need to get some sleep now.  Goodnight friends.