Slap in the face.

A good slap in the face is definitely what I got today.  None other than from my own mother.  After all I have done for her these past few weeks, I am done.  You know it hurts so bad sometimes to care so freaking much about someone you love so much, and you don't feel the love in return.  Yes, it's easy for someone to say just cut ties and be done with it.  Take the emotion out and sure it may be easy but when there are feelings and emotions involved, it is a whole different ballgame.  It just hurts so much to see someone you love so much totally spiral out of control and head down a path that is such a deadly and toxic one.  It huts so much to know that you have done everything in your power to help and nothing has worked.  I have had the burden of the world on my shoulders the last few weeks and done things a daughter should never and I mean SHOULD NEVER have to do for her own mother.  I have pretty much abandoned my own family to try and save her..people I should never have to choose between.  What an emotional and draining journey I have been through for such a selfish person that should be spending time with her grandaugher and daughter but instead chooses her toxic lifestyle.  I just don't get it.  I really really don't.  What a makes a person so selfish?  What really is rock bottom?  Is it possible for her to change?   My hubby continues to tell me to just give up on her but it is just so hard.  I think about it is a different perspective.  I would never do the things to Presley that my mom has done to me and I think that it is why it is so hard for me to understand.  Crying, screaming at her, and begging her to get help isn't enough, I have no other choice than to give up.  The only focus I have at this point is to be a good mother to Presley and to be the best influence that I can be.  Sometimes you just have to say enough is enough and give up on the ones you love the most as much as it hurts.
Maybe someday....I will get my old mom back....hopefully sooner than later.