Ring Ring as my 4:30 alarm goes off on posting day. After a glorious hour of getting prepared AKA picking my uniform off the floor from the previous day of training I depart to my first destination, Vehicle Readiness Center. As I pull into my snowed in parking spot I disembark toward the building carrying 80 pounds of useless shit! And 5 pounds of snacks. The sounds of my boots freezing to the ground as I attempt to walk the 50 feet to my heated destination. After entering and allowing the snot that was frozen to my face melt away, the massive crowd stands around like cattle waiting for the slaughter house. As all of us higher ranking stand around and talk the little workerbees AKA A1C's and below buzz around getting our vehicles ready for departure. As I yell 'check that oil' and the tire depth, did it hit that magic number 4?! We are all beckoned by our fearless leader to lineup and dump our 80 pounds of useless shit on the floor! As we rummage through our filthy bags with wrappers falling out our kevlar helmets and rolls of toilet paper smashed in between our gortex, the NCO's faint interest in checking all of our useless shit. After that, we throw our shit in the truck but not before we make sure the tie downs are readily available. 1800's on lock but the 500 is where we'll be. Spit spit on our arming card, as we wipe it on our sleeve waiting for the chance to leave. Stand in line for an hour in a half only to find out TRF is on tap. Called in guardmount without our gear to stand there smelling like derriere.An hour in a half of useless chatter, stan eval past screaming 'GAS' 'GAS'! Don our mask but not so superfast so push-ups will be a doing with the major stewing! Finally get out by around 1000 so much for that COMSTOP! Drive past Burger King..the smell is overpowering and stop we must..I hope the LT doesn't drive by to hear him fuss. Off to the field we go with whoppers in our hands, I hope somebody grabbed the dispatch or we'll dull sword outside the maf. After a glorious nap, I sit up to tap the driver on the head, uh oh he fell asleep again. We pull up to the gate just a few hours late. Where have you guys been we hear, sitting in Lewistown waiting for the yellow to clear. Pass the words and in the gate we go but we're in no hurry because it's going to snow. Stuck on the MAF with nowhere to go, the relief is going to run oh so slow. Everything is said and done, the bed time for the night guys has come. Three whole hours of sleep in the crusty maf bed that smells like pee with sock babies staring back at me. This blog has been reviewed and reccommended for approval by missile field warriors..HUAAA! LMAO this is for you Ray :) Like only the coolest SRA who would run my 6-E!
anddd. eating tons of french fries
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